Tarfoot

Not Having Monkey Hands

Tim Dilena

They say that the hardest animal in the world to catch is the ring-tailed monkey. It's incredibly difficult for outsiders to catch, but not for the locals. This very rare animal has a love for certain melon seeds, so what the locals do is hollow out a tiny hole in a tree, just big enough for the monkey to stick its hand through, and then they throw the seeds in the hole.
The monkey comes along, sticks its hand into the hole, grabs the seeds, but then it can’t pull its hand back out. Even when its captors come up, it will still hold on to the seeds. All it needs to do is let go to slide its hand out, but it won’t. Those seeds are what send these monkeys into captivity.
A bit like these monkeys, we live in a culture that will not let a grudge go. People will hold on to something for years, even decades. When we do that, we find ourselves being brought into captivity.
I once sat in a funeral and watched somebody pull out a letter that was the reason they were offended at someone. It had been in their pocket for 40 years. This letter was so old that it had creases all over and was falling apart, and they were trying to show me what this one person had written to them 40 years ago. I wanted to say, "Seriously, you held on to this thing for that long? Let go of it, monkey hands. Just let it go.” But this is what we do.
The number one marriage counseling issue that I have dealt with for the last 35 years has not been finances or intimacy; it has been people not knowing how to resolve a conflict. That’s the number one thing. Bigger and bigger problems begin to grow off of not knowing how to resolve an issue. All of a sudden, people have a broken relationship on their hands, and they don't know how to reconcile it.
Being offended is a choice. You don't get a choice in what people are going to do to you, but you do have a choice in whether or not you're going to be offended. Forgiving others is part of God's curriculum. It is teaching us the true value of what God does when he forgives us.
“Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses” (Mark 11:25-26, ESV).

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I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people -- for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. 1 Timothy 2:1-4