The worst christmas ever - men with ven
THE WORST CHRISTMAS EVER - MEN WITH VEN Grandma lost her teeth She was blowing the trombone She found it a skip As she was walking home Dad went to pick her up But one of his tyres was flat Mum got so distracted She tumble dried the cat Then the Christmas tree caugh fire The presents went up in smoke We couldn’t buy another thing Cos we were stony broke Me mum said it’s the thought that counts Aunty Val began to blub So Uncle Keith said, ‘blow this! I’m going down the pub.’ It was the worst Christmas ever No turkey, no crackers, no beer It was the worst Christmas ever Since last year The tropical fish were boiled alive The dog pissed on the twiglets Instead of stuffing in the bird Me mum left in the giblets The sherry was like vinegar The gin was more like bleach Grandad sang the ‘The Red Flag’ And ruined the Queens Speech The neighbors had gone away On holiday to Crete But they left a CD of Susan Boyle Playing on repeat Our sister Mary and her kids Drove us up the wall The dog ate some of Granddad's pills And pebble dashed the hall It was the worst Christmas ever No turkey no crackers no beer It was the worst Christmas ever Since last year It was the worst Christmas ever A lot of grief and not a drop of good cheer It was the worst Christmas ever Until next year The heating, the telly The fridge all went on the blink And Uncle Keith got off his face And puked Mary’s mink So auntie threw the gravy boat All over Uncle Keith We cut into the Christmas pud And there were Grandma’s teeth It was the worst Christmas ever No turkey no crackers no beer It was the worst Christmas ever Since last year It was the worst Christmas ever A lot of grief and not a drop of good cheer It was the worst Christmas ever Since last year Until next year Same every year Happy new year. |
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