Farting Contest
 

A man farts in bed next to his wife.

His wife asks, "What in the world was that?"

He replies, "Touchdown. I'm winning, seven nothing."

She decides to get even, so she lets one loose.

He yells at her, "What was that?"

She replies, "Touchdown, tie score."

He wants to get her back, but he tries so hard he sh*ts in bed.

The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"

He replies, "Halftime, switch sides."