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Old 04-10-11, 02:04   #1
NobodyRogers
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Default Hello, operator another chapter of "they walk among us and reproduce"!!

Actual call center conversations!
Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through;
can you help?'
Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?'
Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.'
Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.'
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that
I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and
telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the
number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
traveling in Australia ?'
Operator: 'Does the policy name give you a clue?'
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )
'If I register my car in France , and then take it to England ,
do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.'
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes.. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland ..'
----------------------------------------------------------------------

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
Customer: 'OK.'
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK, sir Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can
you see the 'OK' button displayed?'


Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it.
So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'
----------------------------------------------------------------------

This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department..............
Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect ....'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble?'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared'
Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type..'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Opera tor: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
plugged into the wall..
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
the back of your computer..'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller: 'No..'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark?'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming in from the window.'
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not?'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it
licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and
packing stuff that your computer came in?'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet..'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it
up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to
the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'
 
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Old 04-10-11, 08:02   #2
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Default Re: Hello, operator another chapter of "they walk among us and reproduce"!!

Love the last one LOL
And believe me it does happen, I use to Tutor home users on "how to use their Computers" and there where a few that should have never wasted the money on the computer in the first place.
I can tell you that there was this one guy that got a computer by spending his Tax Refund Cheque. He didn't know how to use it so I was called in, I called around to see him and his wife answered the door and showed he where the computer was and asked if I wanted a Coffee. The guy came in and I asked him to tell he what he knows about the computer. He said that to turn the computer on or off you just flick the switch and that he knew how to open some of the programs but lately the computer is asking him all of these questions and he doesn't understand why, that was all that he knew. The wife came in with the coffee, and I asked the guy to turn on the computer for me. So he flicks on the main power switch on the wall and the computer came on and along with all of these error messages about not closing down properly and other programs asking if he wanted to restore open older work that was not saved properly because of a computer problem.
Ok then... Show me how you turn the computer off, so he flicks the main power switch again. Like what..... I said No No No you cannot do that, you need to close down the computer correctly. With his wife hovering in the back ground, I showed him the correct way to start up and shut down the computer. I then showed him how to close any program that he had opened. This was our first 2 hour lesson. Next week came and I go around there and he tells me that the computer is still asking him all of these questions, this time he was just minimizing the open programs and then telling the computer to Close down and then switching the power off at the wall. So I showed him again and told him to Wait for the computer to close down before he turns off the power.
The next week was no better but this time his wife had a few words to say and after I had a bit of a talk to him I convinced him that it would be cheaper for me to teach his wife and then she can teach him. So from then on I would teach the wife, who was very quick to learn, and then she could try to teach him. I meet up with her about a year later and asked how it was going, she said that he doesn't touch the computer now at all because he just couldn't get the hang of it. Ok I said, it's not always easy to learn new things. Then she said "He still could not turn off the computer correctly, so he gave up".
I just had to laugh to myself. Males... By the way I went under the Business name of D.A.M Computers.... The joke being that DAM stood for D > dumb A > ass(donkey) M > male NOT Data Achieving & Management. True Story
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