The Letter
 

Dear Shirley Jean,
I'm writting this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your Pa read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 minutes of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. I even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well, though, Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain, we haven't seen it since.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

Lester locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.

Uncle Harley fell into a swimming pool last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated; he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Lester was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back, they drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. I am now closing this letter and will share more good news with you again next time.

Your Favorite Aunt,

P.S...If this letter does not reach you, please let me know, I will send u another.

Re: The Letter
 

Thats a good one oscar. Thx

Re: The Letter
 

As usual oscar, the best of the best, thanks

Re: The Letter
 

Hilarious oscar. Thanks for the good laffs!