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FreaknDavid · 05-12-12, 13:41

Time Magazine Survays The Ten Worst Movies of 2012:

By Mary Pols

10. One for the Money

Katherine Heigl may have finally killed her career with this appallingly amateur adaptation of the first of Janet Evanovich’s best-selling series about Stephanie Plum, the comically bumbling bounty hunter from New Jersey. As Plum, Heigl wanders through a graveyard of bad accents and Jersey stereotypes, looking for a guy who skipped out on her in high school and has now skipped out on bail.

It’s about as exciting as watching a woman search her purse for her car keys. One for the Money seems less like a movie than a series of bad takes on a blooper reel; maybe it’s not even fair to judge it as a movie.

9. The Odd Life of Timothy Green

Maybe you’ve seen the viral video of the two children howling in the backseat of their parents’ car after The Odd Life of Timothy Green. That is what this saccharine weepie did to my soul. Timothy, an elfin boy whose legs are covered with leaves, emerges fully grown from the exact spot in the garden where infertile Cindy (Jennifer Garner) and Jim Green (Joel Edgerton) buried a box full of their hopes and dreams for a child.

Timothy wins over the hearts and minds of everyone in a quintessentially American small town (the chief industry is pencilmaking), and then his leaves start to fall off. Uh-oh. Is this a heartwarming look at the longing for a child?

More like a taunting of the infertile, who are depicted as so naive that they’ll embrace a talking garden gnome if that’s what it takes to be parents.

8. What to Expect When You’re Expecting

There aren’t any characters in the best-selling pregnancy guidebook, unless you count hemorrhoids and sore nipples. But the movie version, which shares only a name with the book, is jammed with characters, many representing societal stereotypes of mothers.

They include Too Old (Cameron Diaz), Too Desperate (Jennifer Lopez), Too Much Like Gisele (Brooklyn Decker) and Too Young (Anna Kendrick). Only Elizabeth Banks comes out of this mess with her dignity intact, which is remarkable considering that her character is a fertility-challenged woman who runs a store called the Breast Choice.

The dads, including the louts played by Chris Rock and Dennis Quaid, aren’t any better. Of all the weirdly conceived, cash-grabbing cinematic projects of 2012 — and we’re talking about a year that spawned Battleship — WTEWYE took the cake.

7. Alex Cross

Poor Tyler Perry is not up to the task of replacing Morgan Freeman, who anchored earlier adaptations of James Patterson’s prurient thrillers about the wise FBI profiler Alex Cross (Kiss the Girls, Along Came a Spider). But even if Perry hadn’t given a somnolent performance, he couldn’t have salvaged Rob Cohen’s slapdash production.

No discernible detecting takes place; there’s just a mad dash from one crisis to another, and the casual treatment of tortured women represents misogyny at its most dunderheaded. As for Matthew Fox’s preening villain Picasso, the result is even sillier than the time in Lost when Fox’s Jack went bad and started doing prescription drugs and grew that awful beard.

6. The Lorax

I made three attempts viewing The Lorax before getting through the whole thing; it was just too painful to watch such a meaningful classic about environmental destruction turned into something so crass.

It starts with a gooey teenage-love story (featuring pop-culture icons Taylor Swift and Zac Efron) and central-casting villains — in Dr. Seuss, the bad guy is us; in Hollywood, it can’t be thus — and culminates with inane musical numbers. All of Seuss’s poetry is gone.

The final insult is having the Lorax himself, a character of poignant wisdom, played by Danny DeVito, whose voice mostly conjures up a crotchety cabbie. Like Jim Carrey’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas and Mike Myers’ Cat in the Hat, this is a grotesquery of Seuss.

5. This Means War

In director McG’s crude attempt to replicate the sexual sparks of Brangelina action flick Mr. & Mrs. Smith, super-spy pals FDR and Tuck (Chris Pine and Tom Hardy, respectively) duke it out for the affections of Lauren (Reese Witherspoon).

Will she opt for sleazy FDR or sinewy sweetheart Tuck? And why do FDR and Tuck care more about besting each other with high-tech spy gear than getting to know Lauren?

This garishly shot agony is a study in all that Hollywood is doing wrong with the romantic comedy: overworking the stunts and visuals while putting next to no energy in the emotional content.

4. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Seth Grahame-Smith’s screenplay adapts his own novel, featuring the future 16th President of the United States as a 19th century Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Turns out the undead are the minds behind the slave trade and use their human chattel as fast food; without vamps, there wouldn’t have been a Civil War.

This sounds like comedy, but the movie takes itself very seriously. I’m happy to blame vampires for a disproportionate percentage of the lamest fiction of the last decade, but slavery?

Can you imagine anyone getting away with a movie that suggested the herding of Jews into concentration camps was about providing vampires with easy targets?

3. Hyde Park on Hudson

President Franklin D. Roosevelt (Bill Murray) repairs to his mother’s home on the Hudson and has his minions fetch him a plaything, his distant cousin Margaret Suckley (Laura Linney), a needy, childish drudge.

When FDR pulls his convertible over in a field, offering himself to be manually serviced by her, director Roger Michell (Notting Hill) pulls back and shows us the gently bouncing car. It’s a sequence that could squash the libido of a sex addict.

The arrival of King George VI (Samuel West) and Queen Elizabeth (Olivia Colman) to plead the case for the U.S.’s joining World War II offers some small charms, as does Olivia Williams’ Eleanor Roosevelt, but Hyde Park on Hudson is still the most tasteless movie of the year.

2. John Carter

A 2011 New Yorker profile of Andrew Stanton revealed that the WALL-E director had never heard the words “I’m proud of you” from his parents. Who wants to kick that dude when he’s down? Thus, I saw the much-reviled John Carter with my son, a moviegoer so generous, he has defended Jar Jar Binks.

We tried to get our bearings on Stanton’s alien planet, with its portentous conversations, native Tharks (who would fit in at a Binks family reunion) and long but passionless battles. John Carter (Taylor Kitsch, embodying Lorenzo Lamas circa 1982) and his princess (Lynn Collins) seemed born not to love each other so much as to mud-wrestle each other.

At the end, I expected my kid to announce that John Carter was awesome. Instead he said, “That has to go on your worst list.” Out of the mouths of babes (and the target demographic).

1. Cloud Atlas

We’re all connected. Human beings repeat the same mistakes, generation after generation. And — man, this part is heavy, so maybe, like, sit down for 172 minutes to think about it — even though bad people try to enslave other people, someone awesome will always try to throw off the shackles. Cloud Atlas is so much like the bong-fueled conversations

I had in college that I almost ordered a Domino’s pizza afterward. The problem is there’s no emotional hook in this bloated fantasia of special effects and makeup wizardry; the passion is all in the brute labor of adapting David Mitchell’s novel for the screen.

Co-directors Andy and Lana Wachowski and Tom Tykwer flit across centuries and genres in a whirlwind of bloody violence and cross-dressing, ethnicity-shifting performances, but there’s as much opportunity to get attached to characters as there would be watching people go by on a roller coaster.

Ladybbird · 06-12-12, 19:36

I agree with a couple of those choices,,, and I could add a few more to that list.

Thanks for the report FreaknDavid

05-12-12, 13:41	#1
FreaknDavid Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: In The Hills of Tennessee Posts: 6,631 Thanks: 7,332 Thanked 7,261 Times in 4,751 Posts Awards Showcase Total Awards: 5	Time Magazine`s Ten Worst Movies of 2012 Time Magazine Survays The Ten Worst Movies of 2012: By Mary Pols 10. One for the Money Katherine Heigl may have finally killed her career with this appallingly amateur adaptation of the first of Janet Evanovich’s best-selling series about Stephanie Plum, the comically bumbling bounty hunter from New Jersey. As Plum, Heigl wanders through a graveyard of bad accents and Jersey stereotypes, looking for a guy who skipped out on her in high school and has now skipped out on bail. It’s about as exciting as watching a woman search her purse for her car keys. One for the Money seems less like a movie than a series of bad takes on a blooper reel; maybe it’s not even fair to judge it as a movie. 9. The Odd Life of Timothy Green Maybe you’ve seen the viral video of the two children howling in the backseat of their parents’ car after The Odd Life of Timothy Green. That is what this saccharine weepie did to my soul. Timothy, an elfin boy whose legs are covered with leaves, emerges fully grown from the exact spot in the garden where infertile Cindy (Jennifer Garner) and Jim Green (Joel Edgerton) buried a box full of their hopes and dreams for a child. Timothy wins over the hearts and minds of everyone in a quintessentially American small town (the chief industry is pencilmaking), and then his leaves start to fall off. Uh-oh. Is this a heartwarming look at the longing for a child? More like a taunting of the infertile, who are depicted as so naive that they’ll embrace a talking garden gnome if that’s what it takes to be parents. 8. What to Expect When You’re Expecting There aren’t any characters in the best-selling pregnancy guidebook, unless you count hemorrhoids and sore nipples. But the movie version, which shares only a name with the book, is jammed with characters, many representing societal stereotypes of mothers. They include Too Old (Cameron Diaz), Too Desperate (Jennifer Lopez), Too Much Like Gisele (Brooklyn Decker) and Too Young (Anna Kendrick). Only Elizabeth Banks comes out of this mess with her dignity intact, which is remarkable considering that her character is a fertility-challenged woman who runs a store called the Breast Choice. The dads, including the louts played by Chris Rock and Dennis Quaid, aren’t any better. Of all the weirdly conceived, cash-grabbing cinematic projects of 2012 — and we’re talking about a year that spawned Battleship — WTEWYE took the cake. 7. Alex Cross Poor Tyler Perry is not up to the task of replacing Morgan Freeman, who anchored earlier adaptations of James Patterson’s prurient thrillers about the wise FBI profiler Alex Cross (Kiss the Girls, Along Came a Spider). But even if Perry hadn’t given a somnolent performance, he couldn’t have salvaged Rob Cohen’s slapdash production. No discernible detecting takes place; there’s just a mad dash from one crisis to another, and the casual treatment of tortured women represents misogyny at its most dunderheaded. As for Matthew Fox’s preening villain Picasso, the result is even sillier than the time in Lost when Fox’s Jack went bad and started doing prescription drugs and grew that awful beard. 6. The Lorax I made three attempts viewing The Lorax before getting through the whole thing; it was just too painful to watch such a meaningful classic about environmental destruction turned into something so crass. It starts with a gooey teenage-love story (featuring pop-culture icons Taylor Swift and Zac Efron) and central-casting villains — in Dr. Seuss, the bad guy is us; in Hollywood, it can’t be thus — and culminates with inane musical numbers. All of Seuss’s poetry is gone. The final insult is having the Lorax himself, a character of poignant wisdom, played by Danny DeVito, whose voice mostly conjures up a crotchety cabbie. Like Jim Carrey’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas and Mike Myers’ Cat in the Hat, this is a grotesquery of Seuss. 5. This Means War In director McG’s crude attempt to replicate the sexual sparks of Brangelina action flick Mr. & Mrs. Smith, super-spy pals FDR and Tuck (Chris Pine and Tom Hardy, respectively) duke it out for the affections of Lauren (Reese Witherspoon). Will she opt for sleazy FDR or sinewy sweetheart Tuck? And why do FDR and Tuck care more about besting each other with high-tech spy gear than getting to know Lauren? This garishly shot agony is a study in all that Hollywood is doing wrong with the romantic comedy: overworking the stunts and visuals while putting next to no energy in the emotional content. 4. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Seth Grahame-Smith’s screenplay adapts his own novel, featuring the future 16th President of the United States as a 19th century Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Turns out the undead are the minds behind the slave trade and use their human chattel as fast food; without vamps, there wouldn’t have been a Civil War. This sounds like comedy, but the movie takes itself very seriously. I’m happy to blame vampires for a disproportionate percentage of the lamest fiction of the last decade, but slavery? Can you imagine anyone getting away with a movie that suggested the herding of Jews into concentration camps was about providing vampires with easy targets? 3. Hyde Park on Hudson President Franklin D. Roosevelt (Bill Murray) repairs to his mother’s home on the Hudson and has his minions fetch him a plaything, his distant cousin Margaret Suckley (Laura Linney), a needy, childish drudge. When FDR pulls his convertible over in a field, offering himself to be manually serviced by her, director Roger Michell (Notting Hill) pulls back and shows us the gently bouncing car. It’s a sequence that could squash the libido of a sex addict. The arrival of King George VI (Samuel West) and Queen Elizabeth (Olivia Colman) to plead the case for the U.S.’s joining World War II offers some small charms, as does Olivia Williams’ Eleanor Roosevelt, but Hyde Park on Hudson is still the most tasteless movie of the year. 2. John Carter A 2011 New Yorker profile of Andrew Stanton revealed that the WALL-E director had never heard the words “I’m proud of you” from his parents. Who wants to kick that dude when he’s down? Thus, I saw the much-reviled John Carter with my son, a moviegoer so generous, he has defended Jar Jar Binks. We tried to get our bearings on Stanton’s alien planet, with its portentous conversations, native Tharks (who would fit in at a Binks family reunion) and long but passionless battles. John Carter (Taylor Kitsch, embodying Lorenzo Lamas circa 1982) and his princess (Lynn Collins) seemed born not to love each other so much as to mud-wrestle each other. *At the end, I expected my kid to announce that John Carter* was awesome. Instead he said, “That has to go on your worst list.” Out of the mouths of babes (and the target demographic).** 1. Cloud Atlas We’re all connected. Human beings repeat the same mistakes, generation after generation. And — man, this part is heavy, so maybe, like, sit down for 172 minutes to think about it — even though bad people try to enslave other people, someone awesome will always try to throw off the shackles. Cloud Atlas is so much like the bong-fueled conversations I had in college that I almost ordered a Domino’s pizza afterward. The problem is there’s no emotional hook in this bloated fantasia of special effects and makeup wizardry; the passion is all in the brute labor of adapting David Mitchell’s novel for the screen. Co-directors Andy and Lana Wachowski and Tom Tykwer flit across centuries and genres in a whirlwind of bloody violence and cross-dressing, ethnicity-shifting performances, but there’s as much opportunity to get attached to characters as there would be watching people go by on a roller coaster. __________________ Rock Out With DreamTeamDownloads1-The Best Place To Be For Downloads. You Can Help the site If You Donate, Please Click Here: DONATE Thank You For Your Support & Membership To DTD1.

06-12-12, 19:36	#2
Ladybbird Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 47,639 Thanks: 27,645 Thanked 14,458 Times in 10,262 Posts Awards Showcase Total Awards: 8	Re: Time Magazine`s Ten Worst Movies of 2012 I agree with a couple of those choices,,, and I could add a few more to that list. Thanks for the report FreaknDavid __________________ PUTIN TRUMP & Netanyahu Will Meet in HELL ..................*SHARKS are Closing in on TRUMP*.......................... *TRUMP WARNS; 'There'll Be a Bloodbath* If I Don't Get Elected'..MAGA - MyAssGotArrested...IT's COMING** PLEASE HELP THIS SITE..Click DONATE & Thanks to ALL Members of ... 1.. THIS SITE IS MORE THAN JUST WAREZ...& TO STOP SPAM-IF YOU WANT TO POST, YOUR FIRST POST MUST BE IN WELCOMES

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