Driving to work
Driving to work this morning I looked in my rear view mirror and saw a woman behind me in a BMW doing 90mph while putting her eyeliner on.
I looked away, then looked again and saw she was halfway over the white line.
It scared me so much that I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked my bacon roll from my other hand.
Trying to steer the car with my knees knocked the mobile phone from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, which splashed and burnt my balls causing me to scream and drop the cigarette out of my mouth burning and ruining my shirt......
****ING WOMEN DRIVERS !!!!!!
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