06-03-11, 00:52
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#8
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Join Date: Feb 2011
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The rich American couldn't undertand why the Irish angler was lying lazily beside his boat on the beach, smoking a pipe. "Why aren't you out fishing?" asked the American. "Because I have caught enough fish for the day," said the fisherman. "Why don't you catch some more?" "What would I do with them?" "You could sell them and make more money," was the American's reply. "With that you could have a motor fixed to your boat and go into deeper waters and catch more fish. Then you would make enough to buy nets. These would bring you more fish and more money. Soon you would have enough money to own two boats . . . maybe even a fleet of boats. Then you would be a rich man like me." "What would I do then?" asked the fisherman. "Then you could really enjoy life." said the American. "And what do you suppose I might be doing right now?" said the Irishman, smiling and puffing away on his pipe.
Sean was a mild-mannered man who was tired of being hen-pecked by his wife; so he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem and gave him a book on assertiveness. Sean read the book on the bus home. By the time he reached his house, he had finished it. He stormed into the house and walked up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "Bridie, from now on, I want you to know that I am the man of the house, and my word is law! I want you to make my favourite boiled beef and cabbage for the meal tonight and when I'm finished with that, I expect my favourite whiskey cake for afters. Then, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with that, do you know who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
"The undertaker." says she.
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